Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Don't ask those questions!!!

I have been married for two years, and yes, there are a few tricks to being married. One of them is to not ask questions!!! (Well, certain questions, anyways.) Our spouses are with us for a lifetime. They are supposed to be our best friend, our lover, and our support system. We expect the truth at all times... but sometimes the truth hurts. Sometimes being asked questions that will hurt the person asking hurts, too. Confused? Let's fix that :)

The first question that may come to your mind is "Does this dress make me look fat?" I encourage variations of this question for two main reasons: 1) it's nice to know what your mate likes to see you in, and 2) we women are very hard on ourselves about our body image. Yes, you can overdo asking this. 

This isn't the type of question I am talking about. I want to talk about those questions that just shouldn't be asked, especially since the likelihood of both or either party getting hurt is almost certain.

1) What would you change about my body?
There is no good answer for that one! And whatever answer is given will always be in the back of your mind.

2) Do you ever compare me to your ex?
The answer is probably "yes" since we can do it subconsciously. ("Wow, Jenna was never this cuddly after sex", etc.) People can't help it. Little things will pop up, like how he puts his pants on last, or how she says "sorry" so much. We draw from our experiences, especially those that were really meaningful or really hurtful. I still find myself thinking about The Jerk, with whom I was entangled for almost a year. It's not because I don't love my husband, it's because I was in an abusive relationship that was burned into my memory.

This is a bit of an odd post, I know, but it was something that I have been thinking about for a while. Be kind to your partner!!!

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